This Monday was one of the most tiring days I’ve had in a long time. I had to do an elaborate article on Cannes and some more articles on fashion and style as well as prepare and send out the weekly e-zine featuring all this fresh content. I started work at 7 in the morning and completed everything by 6 p.m only stopping once in between to have lunch. My husband took care of my daughter, fed her, played with her and was exhausted himself by the end of the day. But he wasn’t getting any help from me even then because by the time I was done, I was pretty exhausted myself. And not just exhausted, I was feeling guilty for not playing with Sanika, not doing any household chores and actually doing nothing else all day and angry with myself for not having enough energy at the end of the day to make up for my loss of attention earlier in the day. My room was a mess to say the least. In short, my work was finally done, I will dead tired and I was hating myself for not being a good Mom and a good wife.
But before I could say any of this aloud, I got an unexpected and most surprising ‘I Love You’ from my DH. Wow! I stared at him not really believing my ears. He is not the one to shower too many I Love You’s and the sort without a reason. And getting it from him just when I was feeling most unworthy of any such thing! Before I could say anything back or even argue with the correctness of it, Sanika called me into the balcony to see the moon. While we were watching it together, she came up with this:
“Mamma, there is only one moon. There are many stars. There are many airplanes. There are many trees. There is only one Mamma.” I was speechless and could do nothing other than giving her a big, tight, emotional hug that she soon scrambled out of.
Oh dear, what have I done to deserve such a loving family? Is this was families are for? Loving you and supporting you when all you’ve done is behaved in the worst possible way?
The day’s surprises were not over yet. My husband had been reading ‘Chicken Soup for the Parent’s Soul’ and pointed this out to me:
The house is a mess, the dishes are dirty.
I’m too old for this stuff, I’m well over thirty!
The car is not clean, my hair is a wreck,
And I’ve already spent next Friday’s paycheck.
The laundry needs washing, the kids are too rowdy,
And I never have time for a leisurely “Howdy.”
With all that I do, it’s never enough,
It’s never quite finished, it always looks rough.
I looked in my mirror and what did I see?
A harried old stranger, where I used to be.
The hurrier I go, the behinder I get.
Today is tomorrow, and I’m not caught up yet.
My kids are growing at such a fast pace,
That I’m missing their childhood for the sake of this race.
I work and I clean and I cook, and I say
“Hit the books, clean your room!” there’s no time for play.
Well, the Lord, for some reason, chose ME with the care
Of three of His children, but I’m rarely there!
I’ve GOT to slow down lest there’s nothing to show
For my role as their mom when they pack up and go!
I’m only one person, but look through my door,
What appears to be one, divides into more!
I’m a chauffeur, a cook, a planter of trees,
A teacher, an umpire, a mender of knees.
Sometimes, I forget that deep down inside,
There’s a lady with feelings, and last night, she cried.
She gets tired and lonely, feels taken for granted
She wants to see blooms from the seeds that she’s planted.
Then, amidst all the turmoil in this mind-bending pace,
My little ones look at me – square in the face…
And just when I need it, they all in one day
Say, “Momma, I love you” and then…I’m OKAY!
by Rabona Gordon
And he did not even know what had passed between my daughter and me in the balcony a few minutes ago. I could contain myself no longer and burst into tears after reading it. And my dear, dear husband was ready to comfort me, already prepared that something like this would happen. He knows me too well, I guess.
I am so blessed to have a family that loves me for whatever and however I am!